To change the situation…change your perception
Posted by admin on July 23, 2009
One of the easiest ways to deal with challenges is to change your perception of the situation. That may seem like the hardest thing to do, especially if you´ve been hit with a difficult challenge or obstacle. Yet, in reality, changing ourselves is much, much easier than trying to change anyone else. Anyone with a life partner or children will attest to that fact!
For example, if someone drove by you as you were walking down the road and threw a bucket of cold water on you, what would you do?
1. Be angry for days, weeks, months, years and tell the “horrible” story of how you were attacked.
2. Think how silly the custom to throw water on people to celebrate a religious holiday.
3. Get into the spirit and throw a bucket of water back.
When I lived in Ecuador, this practice lasted for several weeks before Ash Wednesday. I got soaked once or twice and saw old people, mothers with babies and young children, people in nice suits get hit by flying water. At times it was downright dangerous, usually inconvenient and almost always annoying. However, was I going to change the tradition in the country I was a guest in? Hardly!
So the only thing I could do was change my perception of the custom. It was by far the easiest and simplest thing to do.
The next time you have a challenge or obstacle to overcome, stop and decide what perception you are going to choose in this situation. It can feel incredibly empowering to know that you have made the choice to face something or someone difficult with grace, calmness, humor or love rather than victimhood, anger, fear or worry.
Jan Janzen is a contributing author in the soon-to-be-released book, Overcomers, Inc. To read more of Jan’s writings access the FREE eBook, Overcoming Adversity with Grace at http://www.overcomersbook.com/grace
Wow! What a powerful example! As I was reading through your comments, I was shocked at the idea of someone throwing a bucket of water on a person from a moving car. And yet as you explained, this makes sense in the context of that particular culture and its traditions. It may not be safe, or fun, yet there is, as you so clearly point out, a way of understanding it. And if we can apply this clear lens to our daily lives, we will be able to handle upsetting or even enraging situations with more equanimity and softer judgement. Holding this clear lens, undistorted by our own personal and cultural biases, allows us to move through the world with more compassion for others, and that ability is key in building peace in our families, workplaces, communities, and the world at large.
Definitely a story worth telling, Jan, but you’re so right: not as a “horrible story of how you were attacked.” Thank you for this refreshing perspective and important reminder. I couldn’t agree more — must remember to make the more empowering route and choose “grace, calmness, humor or love.” Thanks for sharing!
So true! Getting trapped in a victim story just keeps us stuck and feeling bad. Better to accept the events of your life and find a kernal of gold within them.
There is wisdom and learning in every situation, if you look beyond what happened “to you”. Shift that to what happened “for you” and you’ll find the lesson.
Thoughts are powerful and the ability to consciously choose them is empowering. Every moment of every day we decide with our words, thoughts and actions whether we are victims or overcomers.
There is depth and great learning by accepting what crosses our path serves to bring more awareness, not cause us damage. Embracing full ownership of the fact that we are the orchestrators of our experience is the most freedom one can know.
I just love hearing stories about how other people live!! All around the world people have adopted various rituals that to an outsider seem so bizarre. My first thought was, how refreshing a bucket of water could be in such a hot climate
. Then, as you mentioned, how irritating it could be when you’re not in the mood for it.
You share with us a great description of how to reframe an unwanted situation. Thank you!
Jan that goes under the heading of ‘What are you going to do?’ While living in China, I was amazed at the customary use of fireworks. There are many occasions they were used, but in order to announce and celebrate a wedding was awesome, disturbing, beautiful and aggravating. They do not pop a few hundred firecrackers but thousands upon thousands and it can go on for 30 minutes or longer. This ritual can start at 6AM just as easy as it could be at 1 AM. But what are you going to do?
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