Overcoming Adversity through the Power of Song

Posted by admin on September 9, 2009

Just today, I heard a song on my car radio that reminded me powerfully of a time when I was listening to that very song in my car, and praying desperately for the hand of God in my life. Back in the early 80’s, I was married, pregnant, diabetic, nauseous, and fearful. Every day while driving, I played my one tape, Anne Murray, and listened to her sing, “I Want To Sing You a Love Song”.

As I sang along, I felt such a mix of emotions – love for my unborn baby, worried about the impact of my diabetes on his or her health, and dread that my husband’s drinking, which had escalated tenfold since I became pregnant, would ultimately destroy our new family. Much as I wanted to be a peaceful incubator for my unborn child, I could not control these disturbing thoughts. I prayed constantly for help – that labour would go well, that the baby would be well, that my husband would be well, that ALL would be well.

Within a short time, my son was safely delivered, but my husband was gone. Reluctantly, I started a life very different from the one I had dreamed of, and very similar to the one I had feared. At the time, I remember thinking that my prayers must have fallen on deaf ears. But looking back now, I think that the problem lay with the prayers, not with the answer or lack of it. My prayers had a demand quality that I did not see at the time. They included requests that my husband stop drinking, that he get a new job, that he step up to the plate as a father. But in fact, he did none of those things; he just disappeared. And I survived anyway.

To be truthful, I did more than survive; I flourished, and my son flourished right along with me. Once I accepted that we were not doing Plan A, but had moved to Plan B, I was able to get with the program. I started to lose my fear and access my internal resources. I wrote a plan of the goals I had for myself as a parent, what I wanted to teach my son, and how we could have fun together. I created a home for us with our own picket fence. And I changed the way I prayed. I had grown up and so had my prayers. I no longer gave God his To Do list. Instead, I started to hold the possibility that God WAS there all along; was always there; and my job was to trust that. Now, I have both certainty and uncertainty in equal measure in my life.

I am certain that there is a plan, and that it is for our ultimate good. I am uncertain how the plan will unfold. But I don’t worry about it as much.  I accept that our lives move us into the mystery and while we may try to discern God’s will, we cannot know the mind of God. I still pray for others, and myself but I leave it to God to figure the “how” since he seems to have a better handle on that than I do. And my prayers are often prayers of gratitude, for the beauty and peace in my life, and yes, for the adversity and uncertainly that I now understand is a hallmark of the human journey.

Margaret Sarkissian, M.A. (Counseling Psychology), Certified Coach, is a skilled consultant, trainer, and business/life coach. She has worked with 200+ managers helping them address serious workplace problems and has developed and facilitated hundreds of workshops on coaching and communication skills, diversity and inclusion, building respectful workplaces, strategic planning, and appreciative living.
www.ClearPerspectives.ca.

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